Sometimes couples who are planning on separating or divorcing prefer to wait out the holiday season and file for separation and divorce in the New Year.  This can be because of financial reasons, or because they do not want to tell their children or other family members that the marriage is about to end.

Spouses who know they are going to separate in the New Year can make some New Year resolutions in preparation for the new phase of their lives.  The following are some suggestions for New Year’s resolutions that can assist you make a smoother, more efficient transition.

Seeking joint and individual help

Separating from a spouse can signal the end of a marriage and can be very difficult to handle for some people.  For others, a separation can mean the end of a difficult or abusive marriage and can come with a certain sense of freedom.  It is important for separating spouses to seek individual help if they need it and resolve to take care of themselves.  Getting involved in community events, exercising, eating well, volunteering, spending time with friends and loved ones, or speaking to a counsellor or therapist can be ways to stay positive and avoid depression.

Look at Your Finances

Making a decision to analyze finances and plan for life after a separation can help separating spouses avoid financial trouble in the New Year.  If the spouses have joint bills or debts, they may need to make decisions on how these will be handled while they are living apart.  Individually, spouses should make resolutions to make budgets and stick to them, make plans for income after a divorce, and to become more financially literate.

Work Together For The Children

A separation is not likely to be easy for children, especially if they are young and cannot understand why their parents are not going to be living together.  Parents should resolve to work together and put aside their personal problems in order to co-parent.  Parents should especially resolve to not maliciously restrict visitation, fight in front of their children or say negative things about each other to the children.

What is the goal of the separation?

This is an important question that separating spouses should ask themselves, and ideally they should be on the same page with their answers.  Is the separation in preparation for a divorce, or is it to seek marital counselling to try and save the marriage?  If the goal is divorce, spouses should resolve to make a clean break and try not to keep making short lived reconciliation attempts that may prolong the pain for all involved.  If the goal is to work on the marriage, spouses should purpose to give it their best shot.

Seeking Legal Assistance

If you are about to go through a separation and want to consider all your options with regards to child custody and financial matters, you need to consult an experienced family law attorney.  Contact the Law Offices of Jane Wesley Brooks to speak with an experienced family law attorney in San Diego County.

Getting divorced in San Diego County? Call us today. 619.234.6123